All the Stuff that Scares Me

Being induced.

C-sections.

Episiotimies.

Postpartum depression.

Postpartum anxiety.

Other moms.

Being forced to drive a mini-van.

Completely losing my identity in the role of “mother” I think I’m supposed to have.

Losing my temper and yelling at my son.

Watching my brain cells float away on the wind.

Becoming an uninteresting person to spend time with.

Being unable to partake in conversations with my husband’s work friends.

SIDS.

Changing a diaper and getting peed on… in the face.

Not being able to do it… any of it!

Becoming uninteresting to my husband.

Worrying too much about what other people think of my body, my parenting choices, my job, how much money I make, how interesting or smart I am… the list goes on.

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2 thoughts on “All the Stuff that Scares Me

  1. I love you and I think you’re amazing. I’m afraid of these things too and I’m not expecting! I’m most afraid of miscarriage right now as a possibility since I’m on BC. Thank you for being brave enough to share your fears! I’m continuing to pray for you!

    P.S. Does it feel good to be able to refer to your baby as your son? :)

    Love,

    Jules

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