A little background about my story with regard to our baby, to give context to some of the posts you will see here. This is copied verbatim from a facebook post (see, good thing I started blogging):
I was talking to Chris about this last night and how I might share about it in a few weeks or something, but he encouraged me to just do it now. As everyone knows by now, we’re expecting a baby (but open to the idea that it might actually be some kind of lizard) in late summer. During the time before we found out we were expecting, I didn’t talk much on facebook about how we were trying to make it happen, because 1. that’s awkward and I didn’t need any dumb jokes and 2. it took us well over a year and was actually a really difficult time for me. When you spend your entire young adult life being convinced that you’ll get pregnant if you so much as look at a man without protection, doing everything “right” but it still taking 17 months can be a tough pill to swallow. After a year we finally visited a doctor and had all the tests run, and learned that we did in fact have a few “roadblocks” that were making it take such a long time. I was sure I was broken and that we would never have a child of our own. I know other people have waited much longer than we did, but that was the challenge that we walked through and I would be lying if I said I took it all in stride. My mother and husband spent many nights listening to me rant and cry about it. I had to hide a lot of my friends on facebook who were getting pregnant on “accident” during that time- it was just way too painful. For a while I couldn’t even walk by the baby aisle at Target without feeling a sting in my chest. And then… on Christmas Eve 2013, a miracle. I try really hard not to be that obnoxious lady on facebook who talks only about her pregnancy and nothing else, but sometimes I want to mention it in the context of a story or anecdote and something almost always stops me.
Right around the time that we decided to announce our pregnancy to the world at large, I learned of SEVERAL of my friends that had recently experienced miscarriages, sometimes their second or third. And although infertility is a different battle from miscarriage, I understand so well the pain of seeing another woman rejoice in her pregnancy, the one thing you want so badly, while your body sits empty and your heart is broken. So I’ve been really hesitant to so much as mention my pregnancy for fear of causing pain to one of my many, many friends who are working through that awful journey of losing a baby. I wanted to share this because there will be times that I want to mention it on facebook and I know that no one would begrudge me of wanting to share our joy, but I wanted all you beautiful women out there who are hurting right now to know that your pain is NOT going unnoticed. If you need to hide me from your feed then please by all means, do it, and know that although I don’t understand your own very personal pain, I do understand how much it can hurt to see other women enjoy an experience that it feels has been snatched from you. I’m praying for each and every one of you, and thank you for reading this ridiculously long post.